Names need to be taken seriously, whether it’s people, locations, or football clubs. Yet, sometimes it is not easy not to take a laugh when you hear a certain name. Our parents are sometimes oblivious of the consequences given a strange name to a kid could have down the road, or how that name can be perceived in another country and language. Personal names can be funny when taken out of context, and their funny pronunciation or meaning can be attributed to mistakes of our parents, who did everything they do out of a feeling of love.
While everything above can be funny and true at the same time, we do not have that much understanding for founders of soccer clubs. When a club is founded its goal is to compete, win trophies, gather fans, and get on the international stage. None of it should be done behind a funny name. Yet here we are. There’s plenty of clubs all over the world with funny names. This article is dedicated to some of them. Stick with us for a little bit more as we got through a list of funniest names there is at least as far as we’re concerned.
Deportivo Moron, Argentina
Well, either the founders of this team were childish or it is us right now. Either way, we’re starting off our list with Deportivo Moron from Argentina. While it is easy what moron means in the language we’re now speaking and writing, as far as Argentineans are concerned all is fine. Moron is a major part of the Argentina capital, Buenos Aires. It is not to be taken lightly as if you ever visit this neighbourhood, you will find out that there is also a Moron University, and even a Bishop of Moron. Yet, this part of Buenos Aires remains most famous for its football club called Deportivo Moron, which plays in the third division of the Argentine football pyramid in the Group B of the competition. If you believe they can fight off their funny name and get a promotion to the second division you can bet on them on Stake.com, as the season of third division group B is in full motion.
Danny Invincibile
Now this is a name that’s hard to forget. While not invincible on the field, the name still sounds more like something from an anime than a name of a soccer player, yet Danny was a decent squad player. His career saw him compete both on the field and later on as a football manager. Funnily enough Invincibile spent parts of his career playing for teams such as Marconi Stallions and Kilmarnock. He made 199 appearances for the Scottish side, so while his name was rather peculiar even for English standards, he was quite good for Kilmarnock after a similarly successful spell with Swindon Town in England. Even years after his retirement, people still mention Danny and he is an excellent trivia question when it comes to pub quizzes.
Club Destroyer’s, Bolivia
Another South American team, this time from Bolivia. While the name would suggest that this team destroys its opponents, that’s far from the truth. They’re a meddling Bolivian side often interchanging divisions, often left with nothing to show for at the end of the season. Club Destroyer’s was founded way back in 1948 and we’re sure that people behind the name probably thought that great things lie ahead of this team based on the name itself. Taking an English name and then spicing it out with a redundant apostrophe only adds oil to the pan. As far as we’re concerned, we hope that Club Destroyer’s can get to the top division of Bolivian football and even compete on the international level in South American football, as their name would certainly attract attention on the global level.
Danny Drinkwater
When we compare the two Danny’s on this list, Drinkwater is the more famous one. There’s no need to explain his name in more detail as it reveals itself all ten same. In addition to an interesting surname, Danny was quite a good player in his own right. A team captain for Leicester during their title winning season, and internationally capped player for England, Drinkwater has a more than glorious career to look back at. For folks who are not into English soccer he will only be a funny name on the team sheet. The moment when we all had a laugh with this name was during the season where Drinkwater played in Leicester midfield together with Kante and Mahrez who are two Muslim players, fasting during the Ramadan, and the team sheet wrote Kante, Mahrez, Drinkwater.
Young Boys
One of the top teams in Switzerland, Young Boys attract attention wherever they play. No, it is not a team that consists only of youngsters, but a professional team from the Swiss top division and frequent visitor to the Champions League, so, no, no inquiry from the Catholic Church is required here. Jokes aside, YB have a long and rich history, and even as we speak they’re battling it out in the Swiss top division chasing yet another league title. While they need a lot of results to go their way to win the title, we’re sure that we’ll be seeing them in the Champions League next year too.
Kaka
Do we need to explain this one? Kaka was one of the funniest names ever when the Brazilian player joined Italian side AC Milan. Yet, the unexpected happened. The name was funny when you didn’t know who the player was and how he looked. Not only was Kaka one of the best soccer players of his generation, he also looked like an Italian model. So, a name that can be translated as poop was never really laughed at. Kaka was the man before the ascension of CR7 and Messi, the last Ballon d’Or winner before the two magicians, a World Cup Winner, and a man who single handedly destroyed Manchester United at Old Trafford en route to win the Champions League with AC Milan. Did you laugh when you first heard the name Kaka, and did you laugh after you saw him play?
Middelfart
Middelfart is a team you want to put your soccer bet on. They’re currently playing in the third division of the Danish soccer pyramid but the way things stand now they’re going up. While bearers of a ridiculous name per English language standards, this is a seriously run club playing their home games at Middelfart Stadion in Middelfart. Yes, we get it, that’s a lot of farts in the middle. We’re not kids, so we’re not going to laugh too hard, but the founders of this Danish club haven’t thought this through when founding the team, especially considering how close England is to them.
Norman Conquest
If Norman was even a tad bit better soccer player, England would tremble before this great man. Conquest wasn’t a super famous soccer player. He was even a sporadic character in this sport in home Australia. Yet, he carried a name that transcendents the game. When you type Norman Conquest in Google you will not get this soccer player as your first query. No, you will get a historic Wikipedia piece about Normans, French, Flemish and Breton troops invading England. This player is that piece when history meets sports. As far as his soccer career went it is important to note that Norman did make a name for himself on the continent of Australia where he even was capped by Australia eleven times.
Hashtag United
We truly live in the age of social media platforms. Hashtag United is a football team in England that easily attracts everyone’s attention. Why would someone call a team after a term from Twitter and Instagram. Well, it’s good that you’ve asked. We’re talking about a team that was founded less than a decade ago in 2016. Here comes the funny part – Hashtag United was founded by an YouTuber named Spencer Carmichael-Brown, who runs an YT channel called Spencer FC. Hashtag United currently plays in the Isthmian League Premier Division. Interestingly enough, Spencer FF got former Chelsea captain Cesar Azpilicueta on board, and the two now co-won the team since 2018. While currently in the lower divisions do not be surprised to hear that the Essex team started to climb up the divisions in a Wrexham/Salford style.
Argelico Fucks
Sorry for swearing, but Argelico Fucks is a name that first this article to perfection the best part is that we do not have too much to explain why we find this name so funny. The most impressive part about Argelico is that he took his talents all over the globe, and made millions of fans familiar with his exploits. Also, he’s not done yet in the world of football. During his playing career this Brazilian soccer player played for Internacional, Santos, Palmeiras, Cruzeiro, and Canoas in his home Brazil, in Japan for Verdy Kawasaki, Porto and benfica in Portugal, Racing Santander in Spain, and Zhejiang Greentown in China. Truly an ambassador of Brazil and of his unique name. As we said, he’s not done dealing with soccer just yet and is currently head coach of Parana in Brazil. It is also worth noting that mister Argelico Fucks was capped one by Brazil. While it’s only one appearance for the national team, considering the high competition in this South American country, this was quite a feat.
Always Ready
Once again we’re down in Bolivia. Bolivians really have ideas when they decide their soccer teams. Always Ready is one of them. This would better serve as a motto for any football club, but in Bolivia they found it to be an ideal name for a team itself. The team is officially from la Paz but they play their games in El Alto. Always ready was founded in 1933 and they’re competing in the first division of the Bolivian soccer pyramid. The team lifted the Bolivian Primera Division three times in their history with the most recent win occurring in 2020 showing that they were ready. An interesting fact regarding this team is that they were the first team from Bolivia to tour Europe which they did in 1961.
Kevin Lasagna
You won’t wind up with too many players carrying the name of a dish, and Kevin is one of them, not just any dish, but one of the most popular Italian ones – lasagne. Of course, the semantics are just not there in the ten core of every word and letter, but we soccer fans are not too picky when it comes to having a laugh. While Lasagna was never a top striker in Serie A, he did just enough to get recognized for something more than his appetizing name. During his career, Kevin has played for the likes of Udinese, Hellas Verona, Carpi and Bari in Italy, and Fatih Karagümrük in Turkey. Just like the Italian dish, Kevin Lasagna managed to make himself an Italian intentional by representing the national team seven times from 2018 to 2020.
FC Santa Claus
Let’s wrap up this article like a New Year’s present, with a wonder club from Finland aptly named FC Santa Claus. If you’re familiar with Santa Claus you know that the legend claims he comes from Rovaniemi. So, it is no wonder that a local club decided to name their club for the most famous fat, red wearing, long beard, gray jolly grandpa -Santa Claus. As you could have guessed the team plays in red and white shirts, and have even reached the third tier of football leagues in Finland. Nowadays, they’re playing in the sixth level far removed from their glory days, but we’re sure a few promotions are in the wraps for the club founded in 1992.
Tell us, have you found these soccer club and players names funny? We bet you did, as we really dug deep to come up with some of these. From Kevin Lasagna to Club Destroyer’s, we truly have a peculiar bunch here.
